UNDER THE BEST OF CIRCUMSTANCES, child rearing is a daunting task. When parenting is complicated by an overwhelming crisis such as childhood cancer, communication within the family may suffer, and both children and parents may have difficulty adjusting to the new stressors in their lives.

Prior to a cancer diagnosis, children usually know the family rules and the consequences for breaking them. After diagnosis, normal family life is disrupted, and all sorts of confusing and distressing feelings and behaviors may appear. When people are under great stress, they often behave in ways they would not under normal circumstances. In response, parenting styles may need to adjust to the frequently shifting needs and behaviors of the ill child and affected siblings.

This chapter discusses feelings that many children have about their disease and some emotional and behavioral changes that may arise in both children and parents. It also offers suggestions for maintaining effective communication and appropriate behavior within the family. Parents share stories about what they experienced and how they coped with their and their ill child’s powerful, and sometimes overwhelming, emotions. For more stories about the emotions of siblings, please see Chapter 19, Siblings.