Psychologist-in-training Katie Davis was amazed by the resilience of families during a childhood cancer diagnosis, but she also knew just how often mental health issues like post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) were also lurking beneath the surface. PTSD, a condition in which persistent mental and emotional stress occur as a result of witnessing or experiencing a distressing event, affects between one to two-thirds of siblings with a brother or sister who has cancer. Katie knew she wanted to look at the effects of childhood cancer from a new perspective by examining the entire family system after a diagnosis.
Christian was best friends with his older brother, Grayson. The boys were just as close as brothers could be. “They didn’t know life without the other one,” said their mother Gloria. Then Grayson was diagnosed with anaplastic astrocytoma, an aggressive type of pediatric brain tumor, when he was just 14 years old. Christian was 12 years old. Grayson was in treatment constantly for the next two years; Christian was home. Grayson died in March 2021, leaving his parents and his brother. The loss for the family was obviously crushing and left Gloria and her husband with having to grieve one son and also guide another through grief. Siblings, Gloria says, are sometimes called “the forgotten grievers.” Understanding what siblings go through in the grief process is important when supporting a family who has lost a child to pediatric cancer. Here are five things that Kelly and Gloria shared with ALSF:
When her brother Jimmy was being treated for leukemia, a nurse showed Cass Butler how a blood transfusion worked and let Cass pretend to be a nurse, too. In that moment Cass, who was just 10-years-old, decided she’d become a nurse when she grew up.
Siblings of children with cancer, struggle with the sudden shift from normal life to cancer-life. Dr. Kristin Long, an ALSF grantee and pediatric psychologist from Boston University, says that a sibling’s cancer diagnosis can deeply disrupt a child’s sense of normalcy and predictability leading to feelings of being “invisible” or “forgotten.”
However, with support, siblings can learn to effectively confront and cope with strong emotions and those skills can have value throughout their lives. Dr. Long shared with us some ways to help children through a sibling’s cancer diagnosis:
There is a special bond that siblings have with one another. You love each other. You fight with each other. But no matter what, you are there for each other.
When a childhood cancer diagnosis enters the picture, healthy siblings are impacted right alongside their brother or sister battling cancer. It is a scary time—but it is also a time when those bonds strengthen and grow.
“Oh, you’re Campbell’s sister.” This is what I would hear whenever I was being introduced to a new person at my school, or in my town, or at my dance studio, or at work, or anywhere that there was someone new. My youngest sister, Campbell, was diagnosed with cancer the summer before I went into sixth grade. She was three. I never thought that her diagnosis would still be impacting my life in major ways almost seven years later.
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Life changed in an instant for the Cartafalsa family when their son Ryan, who had been experiencing balance issues, had a CAT scan that revealed an abnormality. He was diagnosed with ependymoma and began treatment, and today he is a survivor, cancer-free!
