Religion is a source of strength for many people. Some parents and children find that their faith is strengthened by the cancer ordeal, while some begin to question their beliefs. Others, who have not relied on religion in the past, may now turn to it for solace.
Most hospitals have staff chaplains who are available for counseling, religious services, prayer, and other types of spiritual guidance. The chaplain often visits families soon after diagnosis and is available on an on-call basis. As with all types of emotional support, approaches that work well with one family may not be helpful for others.
The day after my daughter was diagnosed, a chaplain started coming to the room every day. She was very nice, but I felt like she wanted me to talk about the cancer, and I just couldn’t. I clearly remember feeling as if my body parts were being held together by the weakest of threads. I felt if I started talking, or even said the word cancer, that those threads holding me together would break and I would fly apart into a million pieces. So we chatted about inconsequential things until one day I thanked her for coming, but said I felt strong enough to start talking to my family and friends.
When Shawn was first diagnosed, Father Ron came in, and we all just really bonded with him. Shawn was in the hospital most of the first year, so we had a chance to become very close. Often Shawn would ask for Father Ron before he had to have a painful procedure. Father Ron would talk to him, give him a little stuffed animal and a big hug, and then Shawn would feel better.
When Shawn was very ill, I began to worry about the fact that he had never been baptized, and I asked Father Ron to baptize him in the chapel. We ended up going to his own little church nearby, and we had a private service with just godparents and family, because Shawn’s counts were so low. It was a wonderful, special service; I’ll never forget it.
Parents who were members of a church, synagogue, or mosque prior to their child’s diagnosis may derive great comfort from the clergy and members of their religious community. Members of the congregation usually rally around the family, providing meals, babysitting, prayers, and support. Regular visits from clergy provide spiritual sustenance throughout the initial crisis and subsequent years of treatment.
We belong to a religious study group that has met weekly for 8 years. In our group, during that time, there have been three cancer diagnoses and one of multiple sclerosis. We have all become an incredibly supportive family, and we share the burdens. I cannot begin to list the many wonderful things these people have done for us. They consistently put their lives on hold to help. They fill the freezer, clean the house, support us financially, parent our children. They do the laundry covered with vomit. They quietly appear, help, then disappear. I can call any one of them at 3:00 a.m. in the depths of despair and find comfort.
Table of ContentsAll Guides
- 1. Diagnosis
- 2. The Brain and Spinal Cord
- 3. Types of Tumors
- 4. Telling Your Child and Others
- 5. Choosing a Treatment
- 6. Coping with Procedures
- 7. Forming a Partnership with the Treatment Team
- 8. Hospitalization
- 9. Venous Catheters
- 10. Surgery
- 11. Chemotherapy
- 12. Common Side Effects of Chemotherapy
- 13. Radiation Therapy
- 14. Peripheral Blood Stem Cell Transplantation
- 15. Siblings
- 16. Family and Friends
- 17. Communication and Behavior
- 18. School
- 19. Sources of Support
- 20. Nutrition
- 21. Medical and Financial Record-keeping
- 22. End of Treatment and Beyond
- 23. Recurrence
- 24. Death and Bereavement
- 25. Looking Forward
- Appendix A. Blood Tests and What They Mean
- Appendix C. Books and Websites